So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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