so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I have tasted many bathrooms
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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