He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
