whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
