can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
