went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
