fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
