When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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