haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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