The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
