did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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