I bet he comes in French.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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