I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
