It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
