i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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