just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
