i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
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she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
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I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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