I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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