She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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