thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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