I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
