Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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