So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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