He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
