There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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