It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My balls are so social today.
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Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
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I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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