Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
