Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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