yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
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She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
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We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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