i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
