she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
