There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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