we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
