who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
