Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
