Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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