I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
