Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
