i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
