see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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