So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
