Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
