how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
