It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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