im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
