fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
