it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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