I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
