but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
