you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
