I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
