"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
