my room smells like sperm. sweet.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
