all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
