Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
