dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
