I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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